Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
