smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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