i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
