So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
