This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
