its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
