a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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