Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
