Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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