Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
