If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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