? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
