I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
