apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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