I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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