I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
