i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
