I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
