His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
