Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
