in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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