She is in my trunk
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you would pick up someone in the library
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
