I wish I could punch you in the face.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
