it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize