doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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