i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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