have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Ketchup is God's man juice
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
