she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My vagina just clenched in fear
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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