there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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