I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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