is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My life is pants optional.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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