I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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