I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
