idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
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