It's just like the Real World with babies
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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