So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
