That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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