Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
