on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
