i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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