I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
