i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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