in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
