There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
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