So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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