i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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