Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
