I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
