Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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