hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
