Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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