so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
