You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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