My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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