Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
