You can't special order awesome
it hurts more in the daytime
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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