not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
