My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
