Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
