break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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