When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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